Is It Me Or Are Things Getting Better In My Life?

I haven't been this excited for a long time! The triple combo of N.E.R.D, Mercury Rev and Coldplay leaves me running around like a headless chicken. Just a super brief history of how I got into each band:

1. N.E.R.D.

Seven years ago, I walked into the Dance/RNB room at HMV on the third floor and heard this really weird-sounding band (at the time) blasting on the speakers. I remember asking this Japanese guy at the counter who the band was, and he handed me a CD called 'In Search Of...' by this band I had never even heard of. You must understand that this was during the height of my musical snobbery where I refused to listen to any band that didn't have four pasty British guys in it.

For some reason, I felt compelled to buy the last copy and went home and listened to the whole thing over and over. And they really fascinated me. Were they called N.E.R.D. or The Neptunes? Were they hip-hop? Or alt-funk? I was too anxious to classify them into a genre, not understanding at the time that they were so musically forward that they were reinventing genres as they went.

2. Mercury Rev

In 1998, I was still buying copies of NME and Melody Maker every week, and Select every month. Ah, the memories of blowing my money away on music snobbery. Anyway, I remember that every single critic was gushing about this album called 'Deserter's Songs' by an American band called Mercury Rev.

I didn't pick up the album that year, but a few years later, there was a CD mixer on one of the NMEs and the song 'Tonite It Shows' was on it. Listening to the wistful clarinet opening, I felt like I was in some 40s gangster movie. I only picked up the album even later, and I could have kicked myself for not getting into them earlier. Still, better late than never.

3. Coldplay

Ah, Coldplay. I shall spare all the gory, slobbery details, but I'll always have Jayine to thank for my fleeting moments with Chris Martin. I've gone from worshipping them blindly to disliking them for selling out to genuinely admiring their latest album. I may not be a super diehard fan, but now that I think about it, they've influenced quite a big part of my life and I'm a sentimental old fool so I'll always have a soft spot for them. (Here's hoping they don't sell out again!)

Now Hang Me Up To Dry (You Wrung Me Out Too, Too, Too Many Times)

These days, I don't feel like talking. I don't feel like making conversation, I don't feel like empty small talk, or catch-up talk, or even everyday stuff in general. The effort of getting words out just seems overwhelming and I just start getting anxious and worried. I have no idea why it's like that. I know that I have 'off' days sometimes where I'm anti-social but these have been stretching out to a few weeks.

I only don't feel this way around a certain group of people, usually the ones who have known me forever and know that when I get like this, the only solution is to roll their eyes and leave me be for a while so I can wallow in emo for a while and then be okay again. But it's irritating that I don't have time to be around these people because of work or school.

My colleagues are pretty alright to talk to, because I can always divert the topics to work and THAT is a neverending source of discourse. But sometimes, some of them want to talk to me about other stuff and I find myself wanting to retreat. It's nothing personal, it's just that I feel like I need to step back and start observing people again.

I guess the best way to describe what I'm feeling now is that I feel like a very, very full jug that's about to spill and I need to pour some of the water out before I'm ready to be around people again. But I don't ever get opportunities to "pour some water out" because I seem to always be surrounded by people. Even at home, I'm constantly surrounded by my mum and brother who want to talk, talk talk.

I know I'm going to regret saying this one day when I'm old and lonely and living in a flat with 49 cats and I have no one, and that I really should be grateful that there are so many seriously fantastic people in my life. It sounds trite but I really do love them. I love my wacky, weird friends, I love my oddball family, I love my Finer Things Club, I love Zarina who has stood by me for 15 years, I love my crazy colleagues who can really brighten up a dull work day anytime.

But for now, I just need some quiet. And a little time to finish the evergrowing list of books to read, movies to watch and music to listen to. As the immortal saying by Cow and Chicken goes..."Is it a criimmmeeee?"