Everybody Knows That You're Insane

Just some quick updates:

- My new job kicks total ass.
- School is tiring, but fun in a masochistic kind of way.
- People are never, ever, ever what they seem. Ever.
- I need some new music to listen to.
- I need to be more forgiving
- My Swedish friend Marcus is moving here in about two weeks' time. Any suggestions as to how I can best get him assimilated into local culture and stuff? Where should I take him to, for a quick tour?
- Fasting month is already starting so soon! Am still bristling at a colleague who told a customer that 'fasting is optional'. WTF?
- Apologies to everyone: I know I've been quiet, but the madness will settle down soon, I promise. Hope that everyone is doing well, or at least not climbing the walls.

I Predict A Riot

Today was one of the worst working days that I have ever experienced. To top it all off, after work, I received a message from my store manager saying he "needed to talk to me about my work performance and attitude" after receiving feedback from the managers and partners. I got this sms just as I was about to settle down and try to forget today's horrible shift by watching Evan Almighty. That sms ruined the movie for me as well and it was all I could do not to sit there and fume.

After thinking it over for some time and wondering what my manager has to say (yet again), I did promise myself to keep an open mind and listen to what he has to say because if I am really in the wrong, I will definitely need this advice to change my attitude/whatever so it will help me as I progress to other jobs. But at the same time, there is the very distinct feeling of being picked on at work, as well as the fishy smell of favouritism wafting about the place.

I'm just about tired and done. The only real reason I'm staying is because of the people. And I rarely even get to work with the ones that I am staying for. And according to my store manager, they're all apparently giving him feedback about my 'lousy' performance. So my limit is almost up - tomorrow, I will listen with an open mind (as open as I can manage without wanting to throttle someone) and if I get the same old feedback, or worse, get wind of any backstabbing, I'm so out of there. I barely get to see Aliah, Azilah, A'an, Crystal and Ayie anyway even though I'm still working. So I might as well quit and arrange to meet them outside working hours, along with Imah and Lin.

My decision is not quite final yet, it really depends on tomorrow's outcome. We'll see. In the meantime, I'm just going to look forward to starting my new job. At least there'll be a break from all the drama, regardless of whether I quit or not.

Everything Is Everything

Many apologies for the lack of entries - been so busy and swamped with work, school, settling stuff for the new job, then falling sick....it's been a whirlwind. Being both broke and sick is no fun, let me assure you.

Despite being sick, I made myself go for Poptart because I already promised Redz, and ended up enjoying myself. They played a lot of songs that brought memories flooding back for all of us. It's funny how much we associate a particular period in our life (like secondary school, poly, etc) with certain songs or bands. There are some bands or songs that I don't listen to anymore because they bring on such strong emotions. I usually steer clear of them unless I'm in the mood or if I'm alone.

I'd better get going on my assignment which is due on 4 September as well as cleaning my room before the fasting month begins. Time seems to be running out pretty fast, even when I'm sick and supposed to be resting, bah.

A suitable snippet from a long-forgotten song that we heard during Poptart tonight:

"We were sure we'd never see an end to it all
And I don't even care to shake these zipper blues
And we don't know
Just where our bones will rest
To dust I guess
Forgotten and absorbed into the earth below."

- Smashing Pumpkins, '1979'

Someday, When My Life Has Passed Me By

Just came back from the first day of Singfest and a night out at St James, then supper at the ridiculously overpriced Station Kitchen. How about that, ladies and gentlemen? I've gone from not having stepped inside a club for at least 2 years to going 3 times in a week. And I must admit that it's incredibly enjoyable and addictive. I'd like to keep going to Poptart, at least.

Singfest was actually not bad. I was initially in a blue funk and reluctant to go, but Sharon and her lovely friend Wei Ling persuaded me to go (using good old Singaporean common sense "Since you're already here, might as well go, mah..") and I ended up having an unbelievable time. Cyndi Lauper is an amazing, energetic woman who roilly does talks loike dis, ya kno? Shaggy was predictably corny, but very fun to dance along to. He was even invited to join Cyndi on stage for a duet of 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun', the rasta version.

The Stranglers weren't as well known in Singapore and the poor guys were largely ignored except by an overenthusiastic bunch of balding ang mohs in the front row. Still, I recognised their theme song for Keith Floyd's show as well as the Snatch hit 'Golden Brown' and 'Always The Sun'.

For me, the best band of the night were Sugar Ray, who were warm, energetic and genuinely friendly - they even gave out their hotel room number to the crowd, man. They played all the crowd favourites even though I was wistful that they had left 'RPM' off their repertoire. The Pet Shop Boys were also a lot of fun, although they played mostly new material and didn't play my favourite songs. The only classics I recognised were 'West End Girls', 'Go West', 'Se A Vida Ae' and 'Opportunities.' Other than that, they played mostly new songs off 'Minimal'. The choreography was really good though, as well as the set design, and one of the dancers was the spitting image of a taller Elijah Wood.

Hope the rest of you enjoy the second day of Singfest, let me know how it went and whether you guys were elbowed or mauled by more drunk ang mohs.

Musical Chairs

Today, I was telling Andrew something that was really very important to me, and the look on his face and his reaction told me everything. I thought I already had very low expectations of 'us' and what we were, but tonight his reaction pretty much woke me up to the fact that I might have been harbouring far more hopes than I let myself believe I was. In short, I've really been deluding myself.

This happens just when I was promising Redz that I wouldn't over-analyse things or hope for too much. Still, I don't think I had been hoping too much. A good reaction from Andrew was something I would have expected from any good friend.

Been listening to this new band called Ghosts (formerly known as Polanski) and their song 'Musical Chairs' really describes how I'm feeling now.

We run around 'til the music stops
How can I help you if you don't let me in?
I can't tell if we're sane or not
How can I help you if you don't let me in?
Maybe this ain't the game for us
How can I help you if you don't let me in to your life?

Fuck. I didn't think it would hurt this much. But it does. Good thing that both school and my new job starts this week. Then I can at least take my mind off things.

Friday I'm In Love

Wow. Today was one of the best days ever. The Cure concert was pretty decent (they played all the songs I wanted to hear, even if the gig stretched a bit too long, clocking in at 3 hours plus plus...) but I had the most fun ever later at Poptart, which was this indie music event at the Butter Factory.

I normally don't enjoy going clubbing, but dancing to the sounds of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Blur, Kaiser Chiefs, Suede (old school Suede!) and Morrissey with some of your dearest friends in the world is one of the best feelings I have ever had.

To those who were there with me for both the Cure and Poptart, you know you who are. Thanks for one of the best nights ever!