Today, I was telling Andrew something that was really very important to me, and the look on his face and his reaction told me everything. I thought I already had very low expectations of 'us' and what we were, but tonight his reaction pretty much woke me up to the fact that I might have been harbouring far more hopes than I let myself believe I was. In short, I've really been deluding myself.
This happens just when I was promising Redz that I wouldn't over-analyse things or hope for too much. Still, I don't think I had been hoping too much. A good reaction from Andrew was something I would have expected from any good friend.
Been listening to this new band called Ghosts (formerly known as Polanski) and their song 'Musical Chairs' really describes how I'm feeling now.
We run around 'til the music stops
How can I help you if you don't let me in?
I can't tell if we're sane or not
How can I help you if you don't let me in?
Maybe this ain't the game for us
How can I help you if you don't let me in to your life?
Fuck. I didn't think it would hurt this much. But it does. Good thing that both school and my new job starts this week. Then I can at least take my mind off things.
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