So tomorrow is the start of my new job. I'm not sure what to expect, and the excitement I'm feeling is tempered with a sense of apprehension. I don't like looking forward too much to certain things in case they turn out to be major disappointments (which happens 95% of the time whenever I'm looking forward to something.) So I'm trying to go for 'blase' but it's veering dangerously close to being plain worried. Still, worrying isn't going to change anything. So I'll just shut up.
After a friend of mine lost his very close friend, I find my thoughts plagued once again with the question of mortality, and just what I want exactly out of life. As an ex-colleague put it bluntly, "Hah, why do you want to work at another bookstore?" Well, what else am I supposed to do? Sign up for a glamourous career in the army as a back-up paratrooper? Sell all my belongings and open up a halal char siew pao stall?
Yet, in a weird, twisted way, I do get what she means. And I don't know whether that's a good thing, or a bad thing. Wish me luck on my first day of work.
And Rashid - you have my utter condolences.
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